A lot more like "Love"

It might not be the right time to discuss about this topic but it will never be the right time anyway for this topic... At this age of 42, there's always a question from, mainly, my mom and others when I will be settling down and have children. I'd say "Settling down, maybe, but having children never cross my mind." I might thought about it 20 years ago with the most stupid reason ever, just to tight up my ex with me. Absolutely grateful that baby didn't happen. But since then, the thought of having baby never again occur. Before I can go further, please don't judge  and don't be offended. My perspective on this matter and yours might be different. We all have different reason to believe or not believe in something. It doesn't mean that I don't agree with you nor that you need to understand my point of view.  Back to the reason, I have been wondering what exactly the reason to have children? I cannot say "Love" because, if i have to inclu...

  It's been a long time since my last post in 2018!! So many things going on in my life that I totally lost my interested in writing. Last year was extremely a big challenge, physically and mentally. This Pandemic, no gym, no swimming, no office, no time spending with friends. So yes, I admitted that I was completely lost it after 6 months working from home. It wasn't about missing the office, it's just about losing a freedom to go out, to see friends, to walk around freely (without facemask and face shield), to have chit chat with friends, to hang out, etc.  I was also worry at the beginning about this COVID, because I have this allergic condition which would always cause me a dry cough or heavy cough depends on the weather. I would easily have a sore throat. I always have a difficulty breathing. So, I could definitely say that I've never like wearing face mask and face shield all together because it just increased my difficulty breathing to another level!!  But I was ...

Just only a few days to new year...   I will not set up a new year resolution for 2018 as I feel like every time when I planned something, it would never go to the way I wished.   At least this year, actually I should better say “this past few weeks”, I’ve been doing well in terms of taking care of myself. I’ve lost 2 kg. slowly but surely. Like I said before that it’s not about loosing weight but it’s more about being fit and firm. At least this Christmas I was so happy that I could wear some of my clothes again!! And pain in my right knee is less than before and it’s barelible. So, my aiming is that no more excuses and exercise regularly.   Just only a few days to new year...   What have changed in 2017?   I’m not quite sure. I’m still the same old me; the good, the bad and the in-between...me. Same job and same condo, so just keep it that way!!   I don’t have anything much to remind myself of what shold I be in 2018 as I...

I've been asking a lot lately why I'm single and why don't I find a boyfriend... It's not that I don't want to. Yes, I'm a bit more picky. Because at this age I want my relationship to last until the day I die. I'm sure everyone wish the same. You don't want to start a relationship to see it survive the 1st year then the 5th year or 10th year. You wish to see it last longer, forever precisely. So do I. But people these day they are quite materialistic. They tend to throw away everything that broken rather than wasting time to fix it. If it's broken, you throw it away and buy new piece, that's it. You think that there's plenty of new models, new style and new function of mobile phone (for example) in the market to buy so you just throw away your phone and buy a new one whenever you want and whatever you want. That's life these day. I've been through relationships when we forgot to cherish moments we shared. When we forgot those d...

When I was younger, I would be head over heels for someone then I would get my heart broken so many time and I would be completely devastated. Now, I still can feel head over heels for someone but my heart will not give a damn if it will be broken again. Why? Because I learn that life is precious and love is beautiful. Love is the most wonderful present that you can give to someone. Don't be afraid that love will always about getting hurt. Love doesn't hurt but not knowing how to love is hurt.

I want to write something meaningful today, but I couldn't think of any. I want to write something not painful, but I couldn’t think of any. For all that I have been through, recently… I was numb I was speechless I was sad I was upset But we all have to go through that stage, sometimes. Life is always about going up and down. You can’t be happy at all-time but when it’s all settled, you will feel much more better. I’m feeling better, a bit incomplete, but better than the past few months. At least I still alive, yes, every time…I alive, once again. I just have to remind myself that this is just another phase and I will be ok again after this.

Every time when you are in relationships, you wish it will be the last. But it's just like any other story, they will always be the end. There comes the time when you think that you are not getting any younger so you should start to be serious and no more playing around. I was serious and it seemed to be serious despite the fact that there was so many differences. Someone said that I am "idealistic" in terms of relationships. But I would rather say that I am "realistic" with a compromise and flexibility, that how relationship should work. There's a quote saying, "Relationship is about 2 things. First, find out the similarities. Second, respect the differences." That quote is idealistic, but in reality, the differences could mean a whole world for someone. In reality when the differences kick in, respect or not, it would not spare any good memories. In the end of the day, relationship means 2 people on the same ship. It's like when the ...