A lot more like "Love"

A year passed by so quick and now we are getting start of 2011. Whether ready or not, I can't wait for the whole year to come and give me a big punch! Because last year was fantastic so this year must be better!! Of course it will, as I'm gonna start the year with a new career which I'm sure I will have some fun. Plus someone whom I love dearly and a bunch of awesome people whom I called them 'friend'. I have a roof to cover my head, I have food to full my stomach and I have clothes to wear. I am thankful of what life offer me so far, what else can I ask for more. This year I promise myself and I'm gonna keep it, that I will not keep waking up the ghost of my past as I should let them rest peacefully deep down in the graveyard of memories. And I shall forgive those whom accidentally or intentionally hurt me, those whom I called 'friend' but they didn't treat me as one and to those whom broke my trust. This year will be another chapter of my life, a ...

I shall not be afraid of you anymore. I shall embrace you like a wonderful lover. I shall welcome you like you are my only true friend. I shall greet you like you are my family. Oh my dear Loneliness, we've known each other for too long. We've spent time together too often. And you know me too well. I do miss you sometime but I know you always come back. You never leave me alone like they do. You always know how to comfort me, like cooking me a delicious tears soup. Bathing me with a warm tears and the scent of grief. Sing me a miserable lullaby. And cuddle me with your humble solitude. Oh my dear loneliness, if you've ever left. How can I possibly live without you. Oh my dear loneliness, if you've ever left. My life will be completely different without you. It's such a quiet and peaceful night and it's time to go to bed again. Loneliness, can you tuck me in and sing me your lullaby? Can you stay with me and hold me tight? And my dear loneliness, can you kiss m...

Every year when it's winter time, no matter where I am and no matter who I am with, I can't help but feeling so lonely. I spent so many winters alone that I didn't find any different. But should we blame it on the weather that makes us feel more emotional? When it's summer, we're gone mad easily because of the heat. When it's rainy, it's so depressive because we can't do much when it's rain. When it's winter, the chill feeling makes you feel like you want to be cuddled. Well, I don't know if the weather and emotion are relevant but yes let me blame it on the weather. It has the strong effect on my emotion, some how. "Winter breeze…oh winter breeze mercy me. It’s so cold; I’m frozen without thee… Winter breeze…oh winter breeze, you are so cruel to me. How can I survive a cruel winter without thee…? Fire’s cracking but my pale frozen hands still shaking. Wind is blowing, snow is pouring and my heart is drowning. Drowning in my miserable...

It's been almost a week that I had Thai meal every day in the restaurant, didn't happen that often, as my boyfriend's family visited us in Thailand and they're craving for Thai food. We went to all different Thai restaurant and I was still kind of surprised with all the different outcome. First night in Phuket we had a Thai dinner at a hotel. All the dished that I ordered turned out to be great and the service was also fantastic. I didn't expect Thai food in the hotel restaurant would be that good since most of them is a bit let down because they try to impress foreigner by making more of the western taste; less hot, more mild and sometime even more creative but just only a few times that it would actually work. The food filled up the table and so did our stomach but we all, especially me, were happy about how tasty the food was. Second night we went down to Surin beach to find another good Thai dinner and we found "Twin Brother". We passed all fancy good ...

#6 Friendly or Flirting Once my friend used to post on Facebook that she's just being friendly doesn't have any intention of flirting. I remember there's more than once that i mistakenly put myself into the situation when there's a fine line between 'friendly' and 'flirting' How to identify 'friendly' from 'flirting'? Guys, if I don't stay close to you more than I should, if I don't accidentally or intentionally touch you more often, if I don't pay attention at all of what you are saying, if I don't smile or laugh or giggling more than I should then that's so obvious. We are just being nice and friendly. But then again, you just never know. Girls seems to be good at pretending and acting. In the case that she really shows she's interested in you then you don't have to guess. Sometime I might did mistake by being too polite and leading them to the wrong direction instead of just being straight forward and honest...

#5 Don't you dare!! It's good to have a few people whom you can call 'your best friend', even if it might includes your exs. I don't mind if my boyfriend has a few female friends or still in a good term with his exs but I don't really care how good his exs or his female friends are, I don't want to hear any damn thing about it at all as it's like a big slap on our face and our ego (oh yeah, we do have EGO too). Honestly, nobody like to be compared especially with their partner's exs. Confused isn't it? You can have a female friends but cannot talk about them. Oh well, let's me explain here. Will you, guys, like to hear we, girls, say something nice about our exs such as; "He bought this for me. It's pretty, isn't it?", "He always did (this) and (that) for me.", "He can do this and that.", "Oh, this reminds me of him.", "Oh we really had a good time.", "He's really such a good ...

#4 Eye candy Just want to give myself some little treats before Halloween so let's talk about something pleasant, "Eye candy". It's normal for girls to have a crush on those celeb, actors, singers, etc. the same way as you guys adore Megan Fox and Victoria's Secret Angels. Or when girls look at some eye candies in a mall or bars, that won't mean anything, might tickling your ego a slightly bit if you can handle that. For single girls, "That's yummy!". For non-single, "Damn, if I'm still single!" You shouldn't be worry us screaming, acting non-sense when we see our crush's picture or get excited when we watch their movies. There's nothing to be serious about unless we are too obsessive and willing to do anything to sleep with that person then you should be worry. But, honestly, let's meet when I am single *wink* If girls who already taken and still love to take some sweet, then those eye candy will be promoted to ...

"Out of sight, out of mind" that sentence can apply to 2 matters. First I've never had you in my mind anyway as you are just a better option at the moment. Second, I fall out of love. Today topic, "Long distant relationship" would it ever work? I used to deal with a couple relationships which involved long distant communication and required a lots of trust. In the end, it's failed. I admit it's pretty drained all my energy just to maintain a healthy relationship when the other person was like a thousand mile away from you. Time zone, phone line, misunderstanding, trust, etc. was caused me so much of a headache. Did love alone help? I don't think so. Even only 'love' couldn't save my relationship. But why it's so hard to keep long distant relationship work? As my sample; time zone, because of the timing that you have to wait to talk to the other end. When you get up, they go to bed or when you go to bed and they just get up. The timin...

One of my friend just had an idea for me to write about, "The Beauty Contest" without all the make-up and cosmetic on their face. Since I used to be one of the contestant so she assumed I should be the expert in the beauty pageant world. First of all, it's pretty a scary thought for some girls to leave their house without the make-up on for example, my mom (sorry mom). She would never ever leave her house with bare face. I've also seen some pictures of Hollywood actress with their bare face, it's really unbearable! I have to give 2 thumbs up for their make-up artist for that incredible work. I like to be naked sometime (I mean my face) but then I realize there's really double standard in this society. I've been treating differently when I'm with and without make-up. I'm not surprised how shallow we are became to judge people by their appearance since there's so many advertisements showing us that appearance is everything. But beauty pageant no...

#3 No or Yes? I don't know why, we, women has to make it hard for men to understand what we want. "He should know how I feel!", "He should know that I don't like it!", "I told him before so he should remember it!", "He should know....!", sadly dear but he doesn't exactly know until you tell him, verbal not gesture. You, guys, probably have heard it before, like so many times already, that when women say "No, I'm ok." she really means "Hell no...I am NOT ok!". But is it always like that? You have to learn and notice after she says "I'm ok.", what's her reaction. If she's silent? If she's avoiding eyes contact? If she's suddenly moody? That's just some sample signs to worn you that she's so furious inside and ignorance isn't an option. You'd better find out quick before she makes you suffer, again. Every women is the same? It depends...I prefer to tell my partner stra...

#2 Mood swing 'Mood swing' can happen anytime not just only when women reach to her 'menopause' but in a softer version. Just to your knowledge and to prepare that it will be 10 times worst and rapidly when she's in the menopause but don't be panic, it still a long way to go. So, apparently, most of the decision Anita's made; for small subjects such as what & where to eat or movie and things to do, etc., is according to her mood at that moment. If you already have a plan for her, notice her reaction. *that will be for the next episode, "Anita" for Dummies #3* Of course she will follow your plan because she loves you, she wants to please you and to make you happy even she's not willingly to. But, again, be prepare that the next time she might make you suffer with her 'Mood' plan. Guys, don't be surprised if she will change her mind again in half an hour just because she wanna stay home instead of going out or just because she ...

"Anita" represents some population of female on the planet Venus. So you can read and learn what's going on in their sophisticated mind. #1. Red Light "Red Light", in every other planet, means stop. But on the planet Venus, it also means that "We're having a period and do not mess with us. Understand?". But Anita's poor honey had no clue at the beginning so there was a few time when Anita left him in a blue zone while she's in the Red zone wondering what he did wrong. Then she decided to warn him everytime before she enters the Red zone so that he can prepare not to piss her off!! Anita explained to him that when the time has came, she will be more emotional and so sensitive. Every little thing can possibly pull the trigger, every little thing that don't bother her at all when she's in the green zone can be extremely irritated when she crosses into the red zone. It is important for a couple to communicate. Men cannot read our mind...

พ่อแม่รังแกฉัน หลายต่อหลายครั้งเมื่อได้คุยกันถึงปัญหาเกี่ยวกับบุคลิคภาพและนิสัยใจคอ รวมไปถึงพฤติกรรมบางอย่างของเพื่อน ๆ บางคนจะกล่าวอ้างถึงการที่เติบโตมาโดยการเลี้ยงดูที่ถูกตามใจหรือไม่ก็เอาใจใส่มากเกินไปของพ่อและแม่ ในบางกรณีอาจจะตรงกันข้ามคือไม่ได้รับการดูแลเอาใจใส่เท่าที่ควร จึงเกิดพฤติกรรมของการชอบเรียกร้อง การกลัวที่จะไม่มีคนสนใจ การกลัวที่จะไม่ได้รับการยอมรับ รวมไปถึงพฤติกรรมอันชวนปวดหัวอื่น ๆ อีกมากมาย แต่ถูกต้องแล้วหรือที่เราควรจะโทษพ่อแม่เพียงฝ่ายเดียว การเลี้ยงดูที่แตกต่างกันในแต่ละครอบครัวอาจมีส่วนรับผิดชอบอยู่บ้าง แต่คนเราย่อมจะมีจิตสำนึกส่วนบุคคลด้วย ซึ่งก็หมายความว่าตัวเราเองก็มีส่วนสำคัญที่ทำให้เราเป็นเราอย่างเช่นทุกวันนี้ อีกปัจจัยที่มองข้ามไม่ได้เลยเช่นกันก็คือสภาวะแวดล้อม เพื่อนฝูง คนรอบข้าง ทุกสิ่งเกี่ยวข้องและมีผลกระทบกับการพัฒนาบุคลิคภาพของเราอย่างมาก บางคนอาจจะรู้อยู่แล้วว่าฉันเกิดมาเป็นลูกคนเดียว และการเป็นลูกคนเดียวย่อมตามมาด้วยคำว่า “ถูกตามใจจนเสียคน” พ่วงท้ายมาด้วยเสมอ พ่อกับแม่ฉันไม่เคยตามใจฉันเลยแม้แต่น้อย ถ้าผิดคือผิดและต้องถูกทำโทษเหมือนเด็กคนอื่นๆ ทั่วๆ ไ...

About a month or more, I’ve been receiving a depressive thought on my facebook’s news feed, constantly. It came from a few people I know and it’s really sad to see them feel that way. I don’t know how I will be able to cheer them up since some of their friends already did. I’ve thought if I can’t help them, at least I can share them my story and whether they want to do with their life, it’s up to them. I remember the last time I cried sympathetic for my pity life and also remember the last time I felt so negative and depressive with everything around me. It was a long time ago; I had such a high self-pity and high depression level. Nothing much could cheer me up at all; I drank seriously and cried out every drop of my tears. I asked myself why my life was so cruel to me and why nobody understood how hard it was to be me. A few years back, it was worst so much that I decided to take my own life. Not once but 3 times, and now I still alive to learn the value of life and to tell my story...

I am not an expert in the 'relationship' subject to be a consultant to anyone. I am also not even a psychologist. I am just a girl who's still learning, adjusting, compromising and communicating in her couple life. So when it became an important issue, all the advice I can give was my experience to share. It doesn't have to be your right answer as it never have the RIGHT answer because relationship is about experiencing with no right or wrong respond. My advice doesn't have to be useful in your opinion, it doesn't have to relate to your situation but at least it came from another human being who had been there and still in the circle of something called 'RELATIONSHIP'. When I'm in love and when I decided to be in a serious relationship, I totally commit and dedicate to my partner. I'm still independent, of course as I also have friends and family to share my time, but also completely devote to my relationship. If I committed to someone, I ceas...

As an only child, I always have just only myself whom I can count on. I have just only myself whom I can trust. I have just only myself whom I can turn to. I've carried all the duty on my shoulders since the day you handed your life to me. The duty that's been written in the name of selfishness-cultural implanted. Spoiled child, I am not. If a drop of your tears is a step closer to the inferno, I am already in the depth of it. If a drop of my tears meant anything to you, I wouldn't be in the path of loneliness. If my love meant anything to you, my heart wouldn't be hunger for it. If my loyalty meant anything to you, my soul wouldn't be your slave. You've kept feeding me guilt, the guilt which once almost cost my life. The guilt which never been yours. I deserve the right of my own happiness without been telling what should I do to earn the enlightenment of bliss. My life cannot be valuated with any cost. My soul cannot be stigmatized by your accusation. My ...

I've been taking a French class at AF (Alliance Français) for a couple month already now just to refresh my dusty rusty memory. I was major French before when I was in Vocational school but by the time I finish (in 3 years), and also lack of practicing, most of it has been wiped out from my brain (what a pity and sorry to all my teachers who dedicated so much of their time). About 2 month ago, I just had a chance to practice the listening ability which proved that my French skill was terrible!! I spent 2 weeks in Switzerland and my french didn't improve much. I did catch some words that I know but not the entire conversation so when I lost my concentration then I was like 'nah...whatever'. I couldn't blame my partner for not helping but blame myself for not trying. If I've pushed myself hard enough, I could possibly do well in both french and mandarin (yeah I also took mandarin course as well in a while back but since I'm focusing on french, mandarin can wai...

We have been talking so many time about a book called "Women" for Dummies since a few friends of mine has some problems to understand their partners or women they've been dating with. But nobody seems to come up with any idea 'how' to write a 'how-to' book to understand women. There's "Men from Mars, Women from Venus", "The Game", and so many follow that famous "Men from Mars...". But still when it seriously comes to 'how-to' solve that mystery case called 'Women', we are clueless. Even if I am a woman, I still sometime don't understand my girl friends. I don't know exactly yet how to relate, include and conclude everything about me and compare to any other women but I assume that we are not far from different since I am also 'Woman'. I wish that at least this article will help you, guys, and educate you in the subject of 'Women'. But my pure and direct intention is this thought will...

Finally it's Sunday, our usual not-guilty-to-be-lazy day. But what's unusual was we got up pretty early and didn't have a big breakfast as we would always have. So we decided to go out for a nice Sunday lunch at one of our favorite restaurant 'Amici by Pomodoro' in Siam Paragon. We ordered Spinach salad with River prawn and porcini mushroom, Seafood soup and risotto. We sat there for a while, indulged the atmosphere and our drink then there's a family of parent with 2 kids and a baby plus 2 nannies entered into our peaceful moment. They were incredibly noisy so much that took me over the roof. But obviously there didn't annoyed just only me when a foreigner next to us started talking on a phone and told the end of the line what's going on here. He said it's impossible for him to find a nice and quiet restaurant in the shopping mall then there's a family on the back with 3 kids started making noise which pissed him off now. The scene didn't ov...

I started the day with the Memorial Service of Jon Molstad; boss, colleague, friend to so many people that I know. I met Jon a couple times and I didn't even talk much with him in person but I've heard ton of many good things about him through one of my best friend who happens to work with him and admire him so dearly. I decided to go paying respect to him at the service, it organized at Thai Temple which gave me some surprise actually. I've known and heard that foreigners become Buddhist and monk but never seen or been to foreigner's funeral at the Thai temple. I received the message that they want it to be the celebration of life and something but sadness so any color cloth was allowed. I am Thai and we grew up to the culture of wearing black to the funeral so it's hard not to wear black due to my belief. But not wearing black wasn't an issue to be concerned here, the neglect of their own culture was. As we wait for the service to begin suddenly my friend and ...

Today I spent time with mom, had lunch with her and also took some pictures of her. I felt great afterward. It's been a while since we had our last precious and peaceful moment. It sounds strange but you know the relationship between mother and daughter is sometime tense and sometime wonderful, same like mine. Because I'm her only child, so she's always overwhelmed and overreact with everything that involves 'me'. But I have to thank her for not raising me up as a spoiled brat. That's why I am how I am and who I am now. I am always her stubborn girl but that's how I would learn, make a mistake and understand I shouldn't do it again next time instead of listen to her all the time and never learn why. She still love me dearly even I've never stopped being such a stubborn child. I'm not so sure that she are happy about me being too independent but she now realize she can't change anything about that. I've clearly made my point that I am s...

It's been a couple weeks already since I came back from the trip but I just eventually had time to put myself all together to write it down and share my story. It was such an amazing and memorable trip and after being in Switzerland; home of cheeses (especially Gruyere and Emmental) and chocolate (Nestle & Lindt), for 2 weeks and Vienna for 2 days, I’m getting to love the place even if I ate a lot of cheese (of course the famous raclette but I didn’t have a chance to try fondue yet) and gained some weight because of it. I’ve felt in love with the fresh air, the beauty of nature, the architecture, food (but will never again have Thai food in Switzerland), the art of language and one particular thing that I admired about Switzerland is its character. Swiss culture is characterized by diversity due to the unusual situation of being the home of three of Europe's major languages (French, German & Italian). Swiss preserves their special chalet style every where up on the moun...

Today will be recorded as the day I start this blog 'Eat Live Love'. A blog to satisfy my craving of writing, a blog about my life and my passion of food, traveling, poem, etc. which separate from my other blog 'Life through films' (the blog about how movies can be related to our real life). The Love of food, I have to give that credit to my mom. She's a great chef who always cook something nice and love feeding me with good food but that makes me be a fussy eater. I love food just only when it's in a good combination of flavor and ingredient. Price and place are the second priority of my decision, that's how I am fussy. But I'm not a picky eater as I almost enjoy everything but carrot, that's all I ask. The Love of living, I lately start to love living this life again since a dramatic change last year. I've travel some places, met some interesting people, done some silly things and had some great friends. Even if my life is still unpredictable,...