Life is good with the choice we make...

It might not be the right time to discuss about this topic but it will never be the right time anyway for this topic...

At this age of 42, there's always a question from, mainly, my mom and others when I will be settling down and have children. I'd say "Settling down, maybe, but having children never cross my mind." I might thought about it 20 years ago with the most stupid reason ever, just to tight up my ex with me. Absolutely grateful that baby didn't happen. But since then, the thought of having baby never again occur.

Before I can go further, please don't judge  and don't be offended. My perspective on this matter and yours might be different. We all have different reason to believe or not believe in something. It doesn't mean that I don't agree with you nor that you need to understand my point of view. 

Back to the reason, I have been wondering what exactly the reason to have children? I cannot say "Love" because, if i have to include my family, my parents didn't have me because of "Love". I could see some people they said they "love" each other but a few years later then "love" got expired. If someone said "to be a completed family", yet, after a while they went completely in a separate way. 

I've been watching "Bridgerton" on Netflix recently and that question came back to me again. What if this idea of having children has been imprinted into our gene, our blood, our brain since Prehistorical period? I said this because, while I was watching this it's been mentioned so many times that women have to get married and have children to be valued. Why? They were told from their mom within family from generation to generation that women can do only be a wife and produce babies? Where did they get that idea from? I'd understand if it's from the Prehistorical period when they taught their people to produce more babies to expand the family, to expand their blood line, to expand their boundary, to have more human on earth. Does it sound weird? So that idea has been imprinted into our blood, our gene and our brain? I said that because "expanding the blood line" I've heard from my own big Chinese family as a sample. "So that there will always be someone who keeps carry on this (surname) in the future". That also sounds weird, right? I think one of the Thai popular blessing will be, "To have house full of kids and town full of grandchildren." yeah, I guess that should be the relatively correct translation.

My mom always said that children would take care of me when I got older. That's definitely not the idea if I want to have children at all. I should not be a burden to anyone to take care of me. Children should have their own life without worrying that they fail duty to take care of anyone else. 

Then, what exactly will be the reason to have children? I respect those who say that they have children because of Love and to fulfill their family and whatsoever reason. I totally fully respect those dedicated parents, those single mom and single day. But some people has to stop questioning the other, like me, why I don't want to have babies. It's just not my life style and it's not my needs, I've never ever imagined myself as a mother. Never ever have an idea that babies will complete my life or if they will make me any happier. I believe we can be happy with the choice we make. We can live a fulfilled life in any other way that we want but we cannot expect people to feel or do the same way as you. I'm sure there's more people in the world who also has the same mind like me. There's nothing wrong with us. I definitely can say that, at the age of 42 I don't feel that I miss anything in my life and I am happy the way it is.

I told my mom every year that I don't have an idea to have children and she would always say, "They will come, believe me. At the right time with the right one." Well, I don't want to argue with her nor that I want to say, "It's your dream, not mine. You have to stop putting your dream into my head." 

This is already 2021, we should be able to enjoy the life we choose, not the life somebody else wants you to be. Don't let the society dictate what you should do or should be. They don't pay for your living. They don't pay for your expense. Life will be easier and happier if you only focus on what you need. 

My life is good, with the choice I make...you just have to stop wondering because I already stop to care.